Do You Wear Spanx?

When I purchase clothes, I do so by actively choosing items that hide my body shape. Yes, I’m a big girl and there is no hiding it. I’m okay with that, Mrs. She’s Too Big Now She’s Too Thin. I’m just not 100% comfortable showing my back fat roll if I were to wear a tighter shirt.

And let’s be honest, I’m all about comfort.


However, sometimes there are items you just have to have. They sometimes cling in weird places, or if you’re at a specific angle it just doesn’t look great.

So to be safe, we invest in Spanx (or something like it).

Props to the women that can wear these on a daily basis. I’m sure you feel and look fabulous. But, I feel like my inside are being crushed.


Are Spanx the modern day corsets? What is up with us wearing undergarments to make us skinnier or a more “desire-able” shape? I thought we moved past the Victorian age.

Maybe it’s just me, and most women find these things comfortable. But I don’t want to wear a full body suit underneath my clothing on the reg.

  1. I’ll constantly fidget.
  2. I get hot, fast.
  3. And I can’t breathe.

Why do we do this to ourselves?!?!

Here’s why…

We want to look good.

But for who?

That’s what trips me up. If I’m fully honest with myself, I wear one of those things because I want to look good for someone else. I want the people at the wedding who I haven’t seen in years be like “Dang… She got big… But she look good tho!” Compliments make me feel good. They make all of us feel good.

But I don’t want to rely on others to make me feel good about myself. Will I still wear the Spanx? When needed, yes I will.

Society makes us think that we need to be a certain size or shape or color. Or that one is better than the other. And it’s not.


Just the way you are.

How comfortable are you in your own skin?




Mrs. She’s Too Big, Now She’s Too Thin

You guessed it. Miss Britney Spears herself sang it on her hit single, Piece of Me

“I’m Mrs. she’s too big, now she’s too thin.”

And in the hour of another icon, the glamorous Ashley Graham, making Sports Illustrated history, I just wanted to take a second and talk about my body. Yes, my body.


I was a size 6 in high school.

I was a size 8/10 in college.

I then went up to a size 12 after college.

Back down to a size 10 somewhere in the middle.

And finally gave up on it all and went up to a size 18. Boom.

That is where we are today. A size 18. I could not have, in my wildest dreams, guessed that I would be this “big”. Ever. And to top it off… We’re sitting at 260lbs people.

**jaws drop**

It’s true. I couldn’t believe it myself when I looked at the scale over the weekend. Shit, my mom couldn’t believe it when I told her either.

I don’t know if people are shocked because I’m tall and I don’t look like I weigh 260lbs OR if they hear 260lbs and in their heads they’re thinking “Damn girl, go to the gym.”

Regardless, it’s a number I’m not proud of. To think I let my body get like this is craa-zzy.

But then I remember how many plus size girls and women are out there rockin’ the hell out of their bodies. I mean, seriously, one is on the cover of Sports Illustrated. She’s a size 16! It’s unprecedented! It’s culture changing!

It’s women like Ashley Graham who publicly share with the world that it is okay to be a plus size woman. It’s women like Britney Spears who are able to talk publicly about how women are criticized for their body no matter what size they are.

This whole plus size movement in pop culture isn’t just about plus size women. Yes, it’s empowering us, believe me. But this movement, this life altering change in our society is about a woman (or a girl) and her confidence in herself and her body– no matter her size, shape, or color.

We can preach it all we want, but until big girls, athletic girls, dark skinned girls, light skinned girls, short girls, start redefining what beauty is ourselves, then nothing will change. We need Ashley Grahams, we need Ronda Rouseys, and Viola Davis’ to stand up and be our voice. But we also have to do the work down here.

So here’s my work…

I choose to always strive to live a healthier life than I did yesterday. If that means I’ll be a big girl for the rest of my life, than so be it. If that means I’ll lose some LBs along the way, great.

I choose to exude confidence in the clothes I wear every day, even my pjs. Look good, feel good, right?

I choose to talk about confidence within yourself to the girls I coach and mentor.

How do you plan to redefine beauty?