3 Ideas That Will Change the Way You View Life

I recently had a conversation with a friend about what we believe in, whether that’s a higher power, fate, an idea, etc. I believe in it all to an extent. He doesn’t. How could someone not believe in anything? To each their own of course, but it made me really interested on his thought process behind all of it (which I’m still trying to comprehend).

All this talk about beliefs had me really appreciating the things that I personally believe in. I have found that these 3 ideas have gotten me through life’s toughest times and have helped me understand why things happen the way they do.

Everything happens for a reason.

Who actually believes this when they’re knee high in tears from their first heartbreak? Or their dad dies? What’s the reasoning behind stupid shit like that? We don’t realize it right then and there. Hell, we might not realize it for years to come (or even at all). But it’s true. That asshole broke your heart so you could learn that A. he is indeed an asshole and you’re better off without him, and B. you didn’t like being told how to dress anyway. So why did your dad have to die? He didn’t have to, but he did. Would you have had a different life if he was here? Yes. Would it have been better? Who knows? But what you have right now at this very moment, you probably wouldn’t have had if he were alive.

Every event that happens in our life leads us to another door. You have the power to CHOOSE the door, but it’s because of that particular event that you have the ability to do so.

What’s meant to be will be

I even have this tattooed on my foot in Portuguese. For two reasons: 1. I’m proud of my heritage and 2. This saying has gotten me through a lot in my life. I’ve cheated on boyfriends and I’ve had guys I was “in love” with break my heart. I interviewed for five jobs before I landed one. But that’s okay. All of those things were supposed to happen. They have brought me to this very place I’m at now. Does the process of break-ups and no job offers blow? Hell yes. But at the end of the day ALL of those things weren’t meant to be, otherwise, I would be there and not here.

Timing is everything

I was dating (if that’s what you want to call it), a guy a little over a year ago that lived out of town. We hung out, we talked, whatever. I was not very nice to him. Mainly because I’m a bitch and had no business trying to have any type of relationship with anyone other than myself at that time. But he put up with it and finally I was way over it and just pretty much stopped talking to him.

Fast forward to January 2015 and Laine has a done a complete 180 with her life (in terms of her mental/emotional stability, go me!). And guess what, it just so happened that same guy from over a year ago was in town and we decided to have dinner and catch up. That dinner alone proved to me that timing is everything. I wasn’t ready a year and a half ago to have him in my life (in any capacity), but I am now. Now we talk every day. I even drove 6 hours to see him. WTF?!? Haha

 

We might not all believe in a higher power or fate, but I am certain there is not one person who could make me think that the belief in these 3 ideas have not helped shape my life.

Cheers,

Laine

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Being 25 And Single Is Okay

I am one of three girls: Bahillary, Bastupid, and Bolivia (our nicknames… for what reason, I do not know). Yes, I am “bastupid”.MelloSisters

Hillary is 33, married for like ten years with 3 boys under the age of 4.

Olivia is 22, finishing up her last year of college, and just recently got engaged.

Me, well I’m 24 (almost 25) and single. Shocker.

But this isn’t a feel sorry for myself blog because my sisters have found ‘the one’ and I’m still searching. This blog is for those who have either: A. After I told them my younger sister was engaged they responded with, “How are you feeling about that?” or B. They didn’t say that, but I could totally tell they thought it.

HELLO?!? WTF is wrong with being in my mid-twenties and single?!?

Like, for real people.

No offense to my sisters, but damn, currently where I am in life, I couldn’t imagine marriage. Am I open to it, hell yes. But until I can steadily take care of myself, pay my bills, and not have to call my parents to act like I want to see them and in all reality I have no food at my house and want them to buy me dinner, I will not be ready for marriage. And I am okay with that. So why can’t everyone else be?

Who gives a shit that I’m a quarter of a century old and single. Just because you chose to go down a different path doesn’t mean I need to go down there with you.

I am beyond ecstatic for both of my sisters, kids, marriage, the whole nine yards. And they are beyond ecstatic for me. Trust me, if you asked either of them what they thought about me being single they would say, “Thank God, no one can handle her crazy ass.” They are two of my biggest supporters. They aren’t thinking that my biological clock is ticking or anything. They want me to find the one like they have. It may be this month, it may be in ten years, but they know there is someone for me out there, and so do I.

So the next time someone makes you feel like holy shit, you’re getting old, you’re single, what are you going to do with your life, give them the finger. (Okay, maybe not right to their face, but maybe as they walk away? Or maybe just in your head? Yeah, just in your head).

There is no longer a norm when it comes to marriage. There is no age, no limits, no time, nothing. You are the one who chooses. You are the one who decides you’re ready. Don’t let anyone make you feel like there’s another way to it. Because there isn’t.

When you’re in love, you’ll know, say “yes,” make babies, and live happily ever after. But until then, for me, I am good with being the middle sister who has no boyfriend and who doesn’t have marriage in the near future. And I am good being single and supporting both of my sisters and their families.

God knows I may need to bunk up in an extra bedroom of theirs some day.

 

Cheers,

Laine

 

2 Things To Do To Find Love

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I’m not going to bore you with my long (and I mean longggggg) story about my love life. In a nutshell, I’ve been in some type of serious relationship since I was 18. To those of you that know me, you’re probably shaking your head, thinking about all the idiots I’ve dated as well as how many times I was the idiot.

Well, I’ve been very single for about a year and half now after a very rough ending to a super serious (on my end) relationship. No, I haven’t stayed single because I was still in love! Initially, yes. But ultimately, I was enjoying the freedom, the party, the crazy, the stupid.

Since my “single girl swag” era, I have joined Match.com. Dun dun dun… Yes, I joined an online dating site. Welcome to the 21st century.

I joined back in July, with little expectations, other than I may or may not get a free dinner out of it or I might meet someone super cool. I did not join to find “the one” or to even find a man. I was trying to be open-minded in the dating scene.

You see, I’ve never really dated. He was always a friend that turned into a boyfriend, a random guy at a bar that turned into a serious relationship (which I would never recommend, by the way). But, this time I was actually going to TRY and date people, like a grown up would.

So off I went. Since July I’ve given my number to roughly ten guys and been on five dates (four guys total). Boy oh boy were those duds. But, that wasn’t the point. The point was for ME to try something new, step outside of my comfort zone, grow up (a tad).

In addition to my Match.com dates, I’ve also been on three more dates (sorry if you’re reading this), with a guy who happens to NOT be a Match.com stint. Luckily, he’s a friend of a friend, so I know he’s not crazy.

The first two dates were good. We talked the whole time, had a lot in common, I liked him. I was still trying out this whole open-mindedness thing. He was cool and I enjoyed hanging out with him. But I just didn’t feel “it” (whatever the eff “it” is).

After the second date I talked to a friend about him, dating, all the above. She told me that…

Love is a choice.

Which got me to thinking, “What was I doing?” Either I wanted to continue a relationship with the guy, or I wanted to continue to just get free dinners out of it. I actually thought about this for a while. Was I going on dates with him, or anyone for that matter, just to say I was going on dates?

Come the third date, everything changed. He may not have realized it (I’m sure he has now after reading this), but I was so giddy after the date it’s not even funny. I mean within the date itself, nothing was different. We didn’t act different. It was like a light bulb went off in my head and was like, “Laine, you like this guy, quit fighting it.”

I was not just going on dates anymore. I was choosing to bask in his company, to truly enjoy every second we were spending together. I hadn’t felt that in a long time.

Am I saying I love the guy, Jesus I barely know him. What I’m saying is that you must do two things in order to find love:

  1. Be open-minded.
  2. Choose to love.

I am NO expert on love, I promise you that. Hell, I barely know what the word means. But as I went through my 24-year-old single girl swag era and now am maturing (somewhat), I’ve found that these two things can and should lead you to it.

This thing between me and my non Match.com guy may not even work out, who knows, but it’s all about being open-minded, trying something new, and choosing to really, and I mean really, bask in the moment with the person.

 

Cheers,

Laine