I’ve mentioned in multiple blog posts about how 2013 and 2014 were some of the lowest points in my life. Shit happens. And I typically tell people I was single during that entire time.
I actually kind of hung out with a guy at the end of 2013 for a brief time. I was lonely and our families are super connected, so they were just thrilled. Plus he drank like me and appreciated my smart ass comments.
And when I say “our families are super connected” this is what I mean…
- His mom has worked with both my parents for like 15 years (maybe more?). They’re BFFs
- My mom, dad, both of my sisters, me, his mom, and his oldest sister have at some point in time all worked at the same place
- My oldest sister and his middle sister currently work together
- He has worked for my brother-in-law
So, like I said, connected.
Well, because of that connection, of course our families are going to want us to date. Duhh. We’re the same age, tall, funny, drinkers, independent, and awesome.
My family in particular really pushed the issue. And I mean pushed. So, what the hell? I was single, wanted a drinking buddy, plus he lived out of town (perfect!), might as well. So I asked him if he wanted to hang out. And we did.
That lasted maybe 3 months. Like I said, very low points in my life. I had no business being with anyone other than myself. He was such a great guy, and I was such an asshole.
My family and I went back and forth during that entire time and even an entire year after about how I needed to get it together and talk to him, blah blah blah. Or how he and I would be perfect together, something they’d been saying for years! I didn’t want to have anything to do with it. They had no idea what I wanted or what I needed. He wasn’t it.
Fast forward a year or so later…
Yes, that is the same guy I hung out with at the end of 2013. He is now the love of my life.
So, what the hell? What changed?
I got my shit together for starters.
No, but really. I got it together and was starting to date again. I apologized to him somewhere in the middle of 2014, and we didn’t really talk again after that (remember, he does live out of state). Until he was in town for the holidays and I asked him to go to dinner. I was just trying to clear my conscious I guess. I didn’t need to apologize again, but I wanted to be a grown up about the situation and just go to dinner as friends. Boy was I wrong.
We hung out three different times over the course of four days, and then I drove five hours to see him just two weeks later.
Yes, I was just as shocked as you. And so was he.
And the rest is history.
We’ve known each other for probably 10 years, we’ve been together (this time) for almost a year, and I plan to spend the rest of my life with him.
So what the hell does the title of this blog even mean?
Momma Knows Best, But You Don’t Have to Listen to Her
Here’s what I’m thinking…
My family (and his) knew over a year ago that he and I would be a match made in heaven. I listened the first time around because I didn’t have my own voice. I wasn’t in a good place. I didn’t know who I was and I didn’t trust myself. So I listened to them, even though I had no business doing so. And it ended.
But this time around, I was calling the shots. I wasn’t listening to what everyone else thought I should do. I was doing things because I truly wanted to. I knew who I was, what I wanted, what I needed.
Even though my family also knew all of this, I had to figure it out on my own.
It’s important to listen to your family. They are the people that know you best. And yeah, they might be right. But it’s not their life. They aren’t the ones who are supposed to be choosing.
When you’re ready, you’re ready.
So listen to YOURSELF first, in everything you do.