Take Back Control

Over the past eight months I’ve struggled with this whole idea of not having control over my own life: people making choices for me. But I also preach this mantra:

What’s meant to be will be.

I honestly do believe that. I even have it tattooed on my foot (in Portuguese) and touched on it in one of my posts over a year ago: 3 Ideas That Will Change The Way You View Life.

But am I being hypocritical by saying “what’s meant to be will be” and also being a little pissed because I feel like I have no control over my life?

A friend of mine and I were chatting about this idea of me not having control over my life. He disagreed and said I do have control. I disagreed with him and said I don’t. (I swear we actually had a productive conversation).

His logic was once something happens to me, I have a choice on how I react to it. No one is making me do anything or choosing something for me.

Shit happens to each of us every single day. How we react to it is our choice.

So no, I’m not exactly being hypocritical.

But let’s look back at those two sentences.

Shit happens to each of us every single day. How we react to it is our choice.

The first sentence: shit happens to each of us every single day, refers to this whole mantra of “what’s meant to be will be.” We can’t control certain things. People die. People lose their jobs. Etc. Those things are out of our control and they are what they are.

The second sentence: how we react to it is our choice, refers to us having control of what we do afterwards. When someone dies, how do we honor them and move on? When you lose your job, how do you handle yourself afterwards? Etc.

Once we accept the things we cannot change (what’s meant to be) and use them to our benefit, we take back that control we so desire. Basically, it’s all in our head– or, it’s all in my head. It’s both. It’s both acceptance and control.

I’ve had control since the get-go, but got lost in the first part– the mantra I’ve held on to for over four years. I forgot that in the end everything happens for a reason. No, we don’t understand it at first; we may never understand it. And it could take quite awhile to actually accept it. But accepting it will change your life. Accepting what we can’t control, then taking back control in our reaction is how we gain true power.

It’s definitely not easy. I’m still working on accepting multiple things in my life. But I have faith that they’ll all work themselves out in the end.

Besides, we’re much happier people when we look at the bright side than when we play the victim. Which one will you choose?

 

Cheers,

Laine

 

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