I’m not sorry.
Or am I?
If I were to count in one whole day how many times I use the words “I’m sorry” we could feed a nation. I’m not kidding.
I can remember the first time someone looked at me in high school and told me to stop saying “I’m sorry” or “You have nothing to be sorry for.” Because I didn’t.
And yet, I still say it. Every. Single. Day. For the past 10 years.
But why? Why the hell am I apologizing for things like:
- Sending someone an email
- Stopping at someone’s desk to ask a question
- Asking a waiter to get me more ranch
- Asking someone to repeat themselves
- Expressing my feelings
Even though I say “I’m sorry” so often, I’ve actually started to realize it more (which is good). So now, when I look at Kris (the boyfriend), express my feelings about something and then apologize for it, I end up following all of that up with, “No, I’m not actually sorry.” He laughs and says, “I know,” and we move on.
At least I’m realizing it, right?
But still, why do we apologize so often for things we’re not actually sorry for?
Unfortunately, this post doesn’t have the answer, because I don’t have the answer. I don’t know why I do it. I don’t know why you do it.
Maybe it’s because I’m a young female professional and I don’t want to bother the head honchos, or because I feel bad for telling Kris how I really feel. But if I truly sit down and think about it, am I actually sorry or not?
As I’ve read more about this, it seems like most articles are written about women who do this too, which I find interesting. Is it because of our gender that we apologize?
The answer is still a mystery to me.
At least now we’re all thinking about it. How many times do you apologize for things that don’t need an apology or for things you aren’t sorry for? Once you start realizing it, I think you’re going to be a little surprised on how often you actually do say it.
But hell, maybe it’s just me.